TONIGHT WAS THE NIGHT



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> TANW presents [B]ack at the Funny Farm
Dougal Baird
 Posted: Sep 24 2017, 05:13 PM
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Due to exterior renovations, the SydeShow arena will be unavailable temporarily, thus our pre-show matches will once again be taped on-site for the time being.

Pre-Show: Leon Purr vs. T-Bizkit

1: Female Open Class, Singles: Madelyn House Jr. vs. Alice Skye ©

2: Young And On Fire vs. a member of The Wrong Crowd, they've told us they'll never field whichever configuration we put on a card so I'm really at a loss for what to put here

3: Cammie Rae vs. Holly Hawk

4: CrossSuplex Qualifier: Roze O. Flavio vs. Usvifr Magni, round 2

5: #1 Contender's Match, No Holds Barred: Tyler Thomas vs. Brand, frankly we know that the latter's going to cheat so we're evening the playing field

6: Li Akira vs. Selena Rodriguez

7: Male Open Class, Singles: Austin Kincaid vs. Kenny Rose ©

8: FLAME MAN'S BASS BOOSTED OPEN CHALLENGE

9: Female Master Class: Electra Emerick vs. Carmen Castellano ©
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Li Akira
 Posted: Sep 30 2017, 11:15 PM
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We open in the living room of the condo owned by one Li Akira, reclining in her favorite red egg chair.

"I came to TANW to hurt people, make money, and win titles," Li's eyes slowly turned towards the camera in acknowledgment. "So far I've yet to get a chance at the third, but that will come soon enough. For now I can be content with doing the first two things."

"Selena Rodriguez is the next opponent they've lined up for me. I saw her debut match, which went pretty much as I expected it would. She's shown a willingness to do whatever it takes to win, something that can't be said about many others. So to you Selena I'll say this: Congratulations on your victory, but now you face an actual challenge. Let's see if you really are as good as you think you are, or if you're just another newbie I have to put down."

Li leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes.

"Alright I've said what I wanted to, someone turn that fucking camera off."

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goldeneye101
 Posted: Oct 6 2017, 11:18 PM
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"Brand... of Brand... featuring Brand?

That might be the singlemost stupid nickname I've ever heard."


The one known as the New Orleans Nova is at what appears to be a baseball diamond. It's quite a nicer park, clearly meant for a college-sized team. Complete with a taller right left field wall and a weird outcropping in right field, clearly attempting to imitate Fenway Park.

What is strange, though, is that he's wearing his jersey back from college. The striking purple-and-gold standing out with his lettering of "THOMAS" on the back.

"Yeah, one more." He says out to the pitcher's mound. From there, an older gentleman in an offwhite baseball jersey tosses out a pitch, right down the middle and slowly. Thomas tightens his grip on the bat and lets a swing loose. There is a near-deafening crack from the bat. And he admires it as it goes cleanly in the gap between center field and right-center.

"That would have been a triple when I played." He says. For a second, one might have been able to see a twinge of longing in those eyes as he turns his attention back to the camera.

"But Brand, I think everybody in AES knows about you. But allow me to start with a little bit of a story of my own.

5th pick in the draft. You want the amount for a bonus? 5.7 million dollars just for signing on a dotted line and an agent in my ear telling me my next big contract will be for 9 digits.

And in the rookie league, all you get are angry stares. And I didn't know why at all that I’d get these angry whispers behind my back until I asked from a couple.

See, there's a term for those who get a huge amount of money coming out of the draft. 'Bonus babies', they'd say, because I actually got a decent amount in case I flared out of baseball, and could actually live decently in a 1 bedroom apartment while they have 6 people in a 2 bedroom on an air mattress. That's how lower-league baseball is to the lower-level players. They work their ass off for little pay at all because their professional league gives their rights away, and they do it for a chance to earn millions.

And I understood them. I talked to them. I tried to pitch in a bit when I could. So much so that when I got injured and my career was over, a lot of them gave me words of condolences. That’s something I would have never expected.

You, Brand, are a "bonus baby". You grew in a silver spoon of NOW, you became your own rockstar. You have everything. Everything you could ever want. Why are you wrestling?"


He stops. Tyler waits for a rhetorical answer. "Why are you wrestling? It's because it's the only semblance of joy you'll ever get out of your pathetic life because you have everything you could ever want and grow bored of it.

In battle, you are far from worthy. I'd rather fight a man who has everything he could ever want than a man that has nothing and is scratching and clawing for anything he can get. It means that I can systematically pick someone who doesn’t have that drive apart.

In fact, that number 1 contendership? I don't care. If I win, I win and I get to face the champion. That much is a perk to go all-out in order to win. But you? Show me something. Please, show me something. I don't give a shit what weapons you use, what tactics you use, what you do in that ring when fighting, just, for the love of God, SHOW ME SOMETHING.


His voice escalates after he said that, his voice takes on an aggressive tone.

"Show me something that I can go back and improve on in that field of battle. Show me that you do not desecrate that ring. Show me that you deserve respect instead of being seen as number 378 on the list of people in AES that I need to defeat. Show me that you deserve to be in Cross-Suplex. Show me that you deserve that belt. And you know what...?

...you know what?

Show me that you deserve to be called better than Lakeem.”


Tyler waits just for a second after saying that last punctuating sentence.

”And you're shaking while watching this. I know you are. You're shaking so you can say that you'll pick up a chair to hit me with it, just like you did Lakeem. Maybe you'll go with a table just to change it up? Do a stage dive maybe? Maybe even pissed you off enough for you to use a sledgehammer. Let that feed into you to dare show me why you deserve to be called a wrestler in that same ring as me. Maybe you don't even give a shit about that.

Me?"


Tyler Thomas shows his bat to the camera. It's wooden, a dark-oak bat. Clearly worn by a bit of use on the baseball diamond. It’s his personal type of bat. A specific type of weight, of grip. Something that Tyler knew he could trust.

"The only thing I'll need in that ring, if you come at me with something like a chair, is this. This bat that can bring me change... that can bring change to AES. This bat that can smash your ribs in if you dare come at me like you don't have anything to prove.

At the end of that match, after I pin you, I don't want to take a look at your face again, Brand.

Because you don't deserve to be in that ring facing me, period.

Pitcher, one more."


The older gentleman is surprised at the cue after the rant. He pitches one more pitch. Another smack of the bat. As Thomas stared to see where the ball went. His determined gaze never left him. He tossed the bat to the side emphatically, and then was gone.

That ball cleared the fence.

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DerryBee
 Posted: Oct 7 2017, 11:57 PM
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Kurt Cobain is Alive And Well Living in Seattle, Washington
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He's Young He's on Fire, and he's listening to his mom snoring as he's cutting this promo, from some fucking boujee mansion house in California, but he's a punk at heart, he tries to be of the scene, he tries to be in something at least, sources say the scene kicked him out, because he tried buying his way into the scene... Well well well after doing a few terrible things to people in the community, he offered money to them to shut them up, the scene didn't shut up, they took his money and kicked him out, so he's out of a scene, and into a TANW ring... a loss under his belt, he's got somethings to say into his mom's webcam.

"Listen Here I got a lot of shit to say I got a lot of shit to say and i'm gonna say it!
I came here to stake my claim in TANW I got a scene to start, I got a claim to make, and it's the Young and On Fire Campaign, to form a group looking to stomp out people that don't agree with me that can be anyone I have a lot of negative aspects and I know at all times my opinions are right,
to get addressed fully every time as young and on fire if you call me any of the 4 words in that as one i will knock you out i was trained in some weird underground wrestling school that you probably never heard of, and the last address of the campaign is to be firm, I know I lost my first match in the company, but I can always bounce back, i'm young and on fire, and that's just what I am right now I am on fire !"



mom snores loudly in the background of him cutting the promo almost cutting him off

"So uhhh as I was SAYING Even though I don't know who my opponent is, I will literally set them ablaze the wrong crowd? More like an Old Ember that'll burn slowly as I stay lit like an olympic torch as i'm young and i'm on fire I got a campaign and it's gonna trailblaze across TANW!!!

Young and On Fire smacks the camera away loudly, waking up his mom who then proceeds to yell at him for using her own computer while she was sleeping, when she can just buy her son a computer, but her son doesn't want to get bought anything cause it's not "punk".

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aknlfan
 Posted: Oct 14 2017, 04:43 PM
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CLICK the camera comes to life as we get a shot of a TV screen, a plasma flatscreen that's playing the end of the main event of one of TANW's most important events, Three Minute Warning. We can see Carmen Castellano stalking a dazed EmRy as she rises to her feet, charging forward to connect with a brutal running knee to the jaw of Mama Tiger. EmRy falls down to the mat limply, motionless as Carmen covers her, the referee counting the one... two... and thr-

The video is paused by an unseen hand, the camera panning back to catch Electra Emerick, wearing a leather jacket and a pair of ripped blue jeans, holding a remote in her hands. We seem to be in the tape room of the TANW facility, several marked discs lying stacked on shelves around Electra as she sits in a black chair, a small, cold smile on her face.

"Three Minute Warning... remember that day Carmen? I know you do. That was the day you ascended to the top of this company. You defeated Alice Skye and concussed Emily Ryken to win the Master Class Championship and set an example for your dominance, and since then no one has been able to stop you. Arceus couldn't, Stheno couldn't, and the rest of the women's roster has either been too scared or unable to face you for that title. You started as a relative unknown when you came here and became someone to fear, undefeated, undaunted, and undisputed."

Carmen then presses another button on the remote, the camera turning back to the screen as we see it rewind to an earlier moment of the show, several matches passing by in blurred flashes before finally stopping at an image of Electra on top of a ladder, holding a briefcase with her arms raised in victory.

"But on that same day, Three Minute Warning, your fate was sealed, because earlier in that show another women won a title, the Open Class Championship... that woman was me. Since that date Carmen, while Dougal has been looking desperately for people to challenge you, I've been on a bit of a streak of my own. Pandora, Alexis Riot, Devil Momonga and EmRy. Those women went after my title not knowing much about me, thinking I was just a minor roadblock on their road to facing you... but each of them fell at my feet."

The TV then is shut off, the screen going to black as Electra rises to her feet from the chair.

"The reason I'm talking about all of this is because you and I share some similarities. You and I were both unknowns; no one knew what we were capable of or thought we would achieve much, and sense then we've become known as two of the best female wrestlers... no... best wrestlers in this company. But there's a few key differences. Not only have you've had less defenses of that title than me, although I guess that just goes to show the prestige of the Master Class, but in each of those defenses you've been pushed to your limit. You were barely able to skirt out a win against Arceus and your clash with Stheno could have gone either way. With every near fall scored against you, every near slip into defeat, the myth of the "Defiant Dragon" has grown less credible. As much as you hate to admit it, you're not fooling anyone. You're mortal, you have limits, you can bleed, and you can be defeated."

"But with me, every victory has been a testament to what I've been saying since day one... and that's that I'm the greatest wrestler in the world today. Everyone who has been sent out against me couldn't last, they crumbled. Even EmRy, fresh off the injury you gave her, the woman who has beaten my tag partner, my only equal, twice, the woman who every had as their favorite when she stepped out of that curtain, couldn't come close to beating me. Of course, she would get her Cinderella story moment of winning the title in the end, but only when I chose to let it go to get a shot at you."

"When we step back into Birmingham, in the main event, staring across each other from opposite sides of the ring, you will look into these eyes and you will know that you've more than met your match. You're looking at 8 and 0, the greatest rookie year in AES history, TANW's first ever double champion, and soon to be it's first ever triple crown holder. You see Carmen, for all your bravado and success there's been one blemish, one dark cloud over your head that everyone must acknowledge when talking about you."


Electra's face briefly switches from her confident sneer to a serious frown as she gets closer to the camera, almost as if its lens were the eyes of the Defiant Dragon herself.

"You've never faced anyone like me,"

"I'm not some monster fueled by darkness, nor am I a legendary or a hopeful rookie just looking for their moment in the limelight. Quite simply, I'm a woman who's the best at what she does and who has had her whole life build up to this very moment. You can train as hard as you want, and when the day comes you can fight with every drop of blood that runs through your veins, but it will only take a pair of knees and three second to bring your kingdom crashing down on your head. I'm not scared of you Carmen, but I know deep down, down in a place you don't like talking about, you're terrified of me."


The grin reappears on Electra's face as she backs up from the camera.

"Until then, I'll be studying my tapes and preparing for my rightful, long overdue crowning, and for anyone watching who thinks I'm, in their words, "cashing a check my ass can't cash", remember this,"

"An Amazon never lies."

With that, Electra flicks back her long, silk-like brown hair, a single chuckle escaping her lips before walking off, the camera fading to black.



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Characters I play:

Alexis Riot (RISE, TANW, Rev X), Austin Kincaid (WWA), Battman (PWAS, OGW, Mallbrawl), Brad Anderson (FCCW), Cindy White (UWOT), Cammie Rae (TANW), Electra Emerick (TANW), Jax Biggs (UWOT), John Good (BAD, GTLL), Mike Emerick (Primetime, PWAS) Saul & Simeon Locke (BAD), The Trashman (OGW), BIZZARE (Primetime)
Matthew Claude Lockhart (Phoenix) Edith Dumas (Grand Prix)
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