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1990's Lesbian Comedian
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Awards & Championships: PROMO CUTTER OF DA YEAR 2016
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Francis Ugondus

Fed Head

My Content
Mar 24 2018, 08:19 PM
Big Boy Gladwin and Rick Trent were at the ScrapYard arena.

"This sucks, man. Where are the ninjas."

"I know, what the fuck, I heard a shitty ninja worked here but there's no fucking ninjas dude. This place sucks, god, it's just assholes everywhere. It reeks of indies."

Big Boy and Rick had this exact same conversation literally every time they met here (which was basically every single day), but the point still stood. Where were the ninjas. The company had a decidedly low ninja-to-wrestler ratio, and they continually expressed their disappointment in such affairs. Francis was there in spirit to also express sadness over the lack of ninjas.

"Man, it sucks how there isn't any ninjas here." Francis said, appearing like a ninja after only being in here in spirit just five seconds ago.

"Holy shit," Rick Trent exclaimed in response to this sudden appearance, startled by the ninja-esque powers being put on full display.

"Ayy, there's my man!" Big Boy exclaimed, trying not to sell how hard it had shat him up when Francis appeared from the aether (for posterity's sake, it had shat pretty much his entire fuck up). Francis had been the one to summon he and Rick (none of the others, he noted - it was just the Wrong Crowd #WOLFPAC here in attendance on this day) and so in theory his sudden appearance shouldn't have taken him by surprise quite so badly, but jesus christ man one minute he wasn't there and then he was and how's a guy supposed to deal with that.

Francis was a jolly young man, and he was even happier after pranking his friends with his ninja appearance here in the ScrapYard arena. Despite having to step in the worst arena with the worst fans in the world in the shitty mecca of the UK, he was very glad he could talk to his good friend Big Boy Gladwin. Rick Trent was also here.

"Hey you two! I'm so glad you guys could make it! I've been searching all over for you since Grappling of Glory! How have my fellow #TOPGUYS been?" Francis said with glee. Rick Trent, meanwhile, tried to mentally block off the mention of Grappling of Glory; he wasn't keen on the idea of thinking over his past and future matches in that environment while in the company of his fellow #TOPGUYS. These group meetups were few and far between, but he treated them as an excuse to decompress for a change, despite them being ostensibly business.

Big Boy, sensing Rick's discomfort, forged ahead with the conversation, hoping to reach more cheerful ground. "Y'know, not so bad, man! I mean, it was my turn to sleep under the ring tonight-" Big Boy pointed a thumb at the old scuffed-up ScrapYard ring - "- So my neck's a li'l janked up and all, but hey, I found some gum under there and it still had a bit of flavor, so all in all I've had worse days!"

Francis felt like Big Boy had a really shit living situation, but he wasn't gonna point that out. He felt that would be rude. Instead he forged on with the pleasant conversation and looked at Rick Trent, whom they call The Tickler. "How about you Rick? You been alright?" he politely asked. Rick initially responded with a shrug, but then followed said shrug up with an actual response.

"Eh, y'know. Stuff. Yeah," Rick said, not really being good with those kinds of questions in general. "How about you?" he asked.

"Haha, oh man." Francis said in response. He didn't really know how to word it, so he deflect with a different question.

"Before I do tell you about my wonderful day, you guys wanna talk about your own personal #TOPGUY business before I do?" he asked.

"Oh, hell yeah, man! Uh..."

Big Boy hadn't wrestled a match in like six weeks.

"Y'know, I've been keepin' my finger on the pulse. I did that UWOT thing, that was pretty cool."

Internally, Big Boy's heart sank a little. He'd wrestled the opening match of UWOT's final show, and while he'd won (scoring three eliminations over the opposing team in the process), the easiness of the task had just felt like a further illustration of how small-scale and inconsequential the match had been. Big Boy didn't like feeling like an opening match guy. He liked feeling like a #TOPGUY. Getting to tag with Jeri one last time had been cool, though.

"Weren't you on commentary for my last match, man?" Rick asked Francis. Said last match was, of course, at Crunchy Pickle's I'm Gonna Be There, wherein he definitely didn't lose to The Amateur. After all, the Invisible Man was the legal man. Nothing could distract from that fact.

Francis giggled. "Holy fucking shit, Crunchy Pickle. I tried to block that from my memory real quick and you just reminded me that Phil fuckin' Margera, the legend, went into that chamber and defied all the odds and that might just be the only positive memory I have of that time since The Amateur clearly cheated." Francis said, as if recollecting an old good time in an age long friendship, despite only knowing Rick for a year and Crunchy Pickle being an awful experience.

"Sorry if I'm forgetful, I've been not catching up with the wrestling as much since the middle of last month, or was it the month before? I don't remember too clearly. Been keepin' down low. Sorry again!" Franco U. admitted. "Anyway, did you guys do anything else or..."

"Nah, not really since..." Not really since NEWD, Big Boy didn't say. LOVE's showcase had been a big win for the Wrong Crowd, and for the #TOPGUYS as a whole, but bringing that event up at all seemed like a bad, bad idea around Francis. At least while the wound was still fresh.

"Not since 1:58, I guess," Rick said bluntly in a kind of I care but I'm trying to pretend I don't care desperately please don't pick up on the fact that I care manner.

Francis listened to them intently. All ten words combined of it. Looks like they've just had a boring time. Well, Francis hates boring times, and he was ready to spice things up with his fellow stablemates!

"Alright. I get y'all. So, I'll tell you how I've been now!"

Francis was ready to talk about his day and what he wanted to talk about. He looked his nice friends who were very supportive in the eyes with his unwavering grin still on his face.

"So...what the fuck happened during the Bucky vs John Doe match?"

The grin faded away quickly during that sentence, only to be replaced with venom.

"Haha, yeah what the fuck was up with that?" Rick asked half-jovially, having clearly not yet picked up on the tonal shift. He would regret this, almost assuredly.

Francis quickly retorted with a laugh of his own. "Haha, yeah!" he mockingly said. "Real good bit. Big fun bit, stealing what I was supposed to accomplish and doing it in such a dumb fucking way. Good one. Proud of you." Francis said in a clearly non-jovial manner.

"What. The. Fuck. Happened? Who sent our fuckin' little green man to help our obesity laden child?"

Francis was not happy.

Big Boy forced out a strained chuckle. "I mean, who the hell knows what's ever going on with that guy, right? I don't keep him on a fuckin' leash or anything, he just goes and does whatever. Sorry it messed with your, like, blood rivalry, though." Big Boy certainly wasn't being as sensitive as he could be, but Francis' tone was rubbing him the wrong way, and he'd never taken well to that.

Francis wasn't taking that from his best friend, not by a long shot. "Nah nah nah. I'm not taking that one. You're the one taking charge here Big Lad, and I'm not having this bullshit where Snakeman walks out and gives the victory I've been looking to take for some hang around reject who couldn't win the SAPW Grand Championship on his own so he's sticking himself with a bunch of young guns to try and leech off them. That's all he's doing anyway! Unlike me! Who's put so much in here just to get Snakeman and Bucky doing that fucking garbage! I think I'm owed an actual explanation other than "oh my wee little lad just does what he wants", especially when you know, and I know, and Rick knows that Snakeman is a fucking selfish prick who doesn't do shit for people."

Francis was not even winded.

Meanwhile, Rick was decidedly quite uncomfortable with this turn of events. Now having very definitively picked up on the tonal shift, he didn't really know what to do. He was good at being a dickhead, not a mediator, but he felt like he had to try.

"Listen man, that guy's a loose cannon. He probably just did it to get a dig in at Juniper Ravioli." Rick had decided that Roze would not be referred to by his actual name in this scenario, as he did not think very highly of him and generally only extended the respect of an actual name referral to people he had respect for. Except Greg. Greg was still Greg.

"And honestly, like, what the fuck does it matter? It's not like he pinned him clean or anything, nobody's pulled that off yet. That can still be your thing, nobody's sittin' around going "oh hell yeah, Bucky's better than John Doe". Our guy won a match, we got in a win, that's all there is to it. The John Doe's A Big Tough Motherfucker Championship's still on the line, if you catch my drift." Big Boy had opted to take a more diplomatic approach with Francis, as getting up in his grill probably wasn't going to serve an especially constructive purpose.

Francis just sighed. "What do you mean what the fuck does it matter? That man with the mask and how he does very much matters to me. Juniper fucking Ravioli dicking him over in that clusterfuck of a match was just him trying to take the credit I should get when I eventually beat him. But now we have this fucking Cheeto leech doing the same fuckin' thing. You absolutely know his fucking katamari ball looking ass is probably thinking to himself "man I'm the shit" when it should be everyone else looking at me finally beating John Doe saying "man he's the shit" and I'm quite frankly not having this group I put so much into fuck me over. If Snakeman really just did this on his own, then get him over here so I can beat the ever loving shit out of him so we can be even."

Francis voice notably got a bit more somber.

"It's supposed to be me man. I just wanna know what happened." Francis said, as if he was about to shed tears...but his face remained notably dry regardless.

Big Boy put his hands up in a placating fashion. "I get it, man. I do. But us getting mad at each other isn't helping anything. I mean, get mad at Snakeman, sure, we can do some cool tag moves on him if it'll make you feel better, but you and me- us three, we're a team. We're all on the same side."

Francis stood there, unsure on how to take this. Were they on the same side really? It sure didn't feel like it, but Big Boy was his best friend...

So, he looked at Rick Trent instead.

"...are we on the same side?"

"Yeah, man," Rick responded, genuinely having no idea what the source of all this was. He was a schemer, yes, but he wasn't the type that would pull a scheme on his own group unless he were either making a power play or leaving it, and this was very much a scheme that would serve neither of those ends very well. He was as lost as anyone, he'd been as shocked as anyone when Snakeman had walked out there. He'd even broken his usual twitter formatting from the shock.

Francis just absorbed what Rick said, trying to make sense of all this whilst making sure he was going about this the way he wanted. He turned to Big Boy again, with a unusual calm essence surrounding him.

"Alright...we're on the same page. I just still can't shake the feeling off I'm gonna ask one more time. Big Boy, did you know anything about that?"

Big Boy opened his mouth to issue yet another easy-to-digest denial, but he saw the look in Francis' eyes and realized, in that moment, that it wasn't going to be so easy this time. Francis already knew; maybe it was one last true act of friendship that he was allowing Big Boy to come clean on his own terms. He smiled, a weary look to his eyes. The jig was up. Damn it.

"Yeah... Yeah, it was my idea. You got me."

He snickered, and that snicker turned into full-on laughter. Hoo boy. The cat was out of the bag.

"Yeah, you're goddamn right I sent Snakeman out there to fuck Doe over. A-and you know why, man? I mean, you said it yourself, I'm the one taking charge here. Decisions have to be made. And you know what I decided?" Big Boy took a step towards Francis, bringing the two of them nose-to-nose. "I decided we win matches. B.O.S.S. make money, The Brethren cause trouble, and we win matches, and I wasn't about to let your invincible goddamn white whale get in the way of that-"

Big Boy was swiftly cut off by a massive headbutt by Francis, sending him down to the ground in violent fashion. Rick could do nothing but stare on in response.

"I fucking knew it! What the fuck were you even thinking? Huh?! You actually thought a meaningless Champion vs Champion match in the middle of god damn Japan was worth fucking me over? It wasn't even a big show! It was a fucking aftermath! Jesus christ!"

Francis huffed and puffed. He then walked over to stand over Big Boy.

"Listen here, Big Boy. Sometimes people are prone to making awful decisions, and I get that! Maybe I caught you off guard here today, and I get that."

Francis put his foot on Big Boy's chest.

"But maybe, we shouldn't be making rash and dumb decisions for lesser members like Bucky Foxworthy that fuck with what needs to happen, right?"

Big Boy tried to push Francis' foot off his chest, but he was pressing down too hard and wouldn't budge. Big Boy grimaced. "Alright, alright, fine! The grey guy's all yours from now on! Jesus, man, let me up, will you?"

Francis listened to Big Boy's pain in his voice as he said the words he wanted to hear. Though he didn't appear happy on his face, perhaps in his heart is where the true joy came from.

He took his foot off from Big Boy and backed up a bit.

"Christ, uhh..." Rick started, but he didn't really know what to say at this point. It was one thing if this argument were happening between the lesser members, as Francis called them, but he wasn't particularly prepared to handle this situation. Fights between friends like this were...

They were rough. He'd seen too many of them, and yet still he was never prepared for them.

"Listen, we... We'll get past this. I know we will. We're top guys. There's no one like us, and that's why I know we can move past this and pull through, and that's why I know you're gonna kill that white whale someday." Rick attempted to motivate the duo, frankly having no idea what he was doing within such a capacity.

If Big Boy had been feeling particularly snippy, he would have pointed out that the book ended with the white whale killing the dude and then swimming away and starting a happy family, but he didn't want to get his shots in any more. He just wanted this all to be over. He felt angry, but beneath that he felt the bubblings of something much worse: guilt. And that feeling was something he would do anything under the sun to avoid, something he'd been doing his best to avoid for his whole life, and so he stuffed it down beneath layers and layers of bitter resentment. Fuck Francis for making him feel this way.

Whilst Rick and Big Boy had been thrown off the tracks so to speak, Francis couldn't be any more glad with how this went. He got what he needed done. Thus, his smile returned.

"Good! We're on the same page today! That's all I called you two down for. You don't have to tell the rest of the guys this, and I recommend it too." he said with a bit of a serious inflection near the end.

"By the way, have you guys heard? I'm facing Derrick frickin' Brizen...AND! I get a dance off! I don't know about you guys but I'm gonna try to go back to catching up on my fellow #TOPGUYSdeJAPON! So I hope you two do as well! You're gonna see a new and improve Francis Ugondus out there!" Francis paused for dramatic effect. "I would hate to show you guys how new and improved I am. So let's do our best!"

Francis then held out a cute hand pose!


Francis then did not wait for them to hand pose back, as he decided to use that to make his leave, happy that his problems were all worked out.

"Yeah, cool, don't help me up or anything," Big Boy mumbled, knowing Francis was out of earshot. One of the things Francis had said was sticking in his mind, and it wasn't one of the obvious ones.

"I'm facing Derrick frickin' Brizen...!"

The weird thing was, Big Boy had been fucking stoked about that. That was cool as shit. His best friend, squaring off against their shared favourite wrestler ever. That was the coolest feeling in the world to Big Boy.

His best friend.

But all of a sudden, that match didn't seem like quite so much fun any more.

Wrestling just didn't seem quite so fun any more.

God damn it, wasn't that what the #TOPGUYS were meant to be all about? Just a bunch of friends, having fun, not caring about anyone but themselves. But it didn't seem like that was what they were about any more. Snakeman throwing a wet towel on Francis' life goal hadn't been "fun". This fight with Francis hadn't been fun. And now Big Boy didn't feel happy. He felt bad and shitty. Something, somewhere down the line, had gone badly wrong.

"Hey, uh, Rick... Gimme a hand, will you...?" Rick quickly obliged, offering out his right hand after moving over next to Big Boy, pulling him up as he grabbed it. Then realising he was leaving Francis hanging, Rick quickly scrambled to throw up the patented #TOPGUYS hand pose, still fairly flustered from all of this.

Once he was upright, Big Boy slumped over across Rick's shoulders, leaning on him for support. "H-haha, fuck, he really knocked me silly, I guess. Probably just another concussion, haha."

For some reason, all of a sudden Big Boy didn't feel like he had the strength to support his own weight.
Feb 24 2018, 08:23 AM
check my sig out
Feb 12 2018, 08:18 PM
Hey everyone, I'm here to talk about how my NEWD weekend went. Now you may think I'm here to give you the results for the 2017 AES Awards and t's, and you're right in that. But I think I should tell you about my weekend and not the knowledge of that The Best Of The Rest Wrestler Award Of Wrestling went to Sean with 13 votes.

Instead, we're going to talk about my weekend because I think I had an important weekend that you all should know about. If you're gonna say god damn it, well you shouldn't. This isn't a thing you say god damn it to, unlike the time everyone said >takes off helmet in the chat, which won The Golden God Fucking Dammit with 9 votes.

But before I begin, Tan has a nice rear. 8 votes agreed. She has the Rear of the Year.

Anyway I woke up after only getting like three hours of sleep at like, 2 AM. I tried to fall back asleep but I had a hard fucking time. It was like I got thrown into the god damn Gulf of Mexico except of being all wet, it was my eyes were all dry. I wish I was thrown into the Gulf of Mexico like during the Riggy Diggy Oil Up and Shiggy award winning Calvin Casino vs FLAME MAN Gulf of Mexico Match that got 11 votes, but instead I put cocoa butter on my face to moisturize it.

I decided to play Yakuza 0, and I would spoil what happens, but I'm not a piece of shit fucking scumbag like Sam Gladwin, who only has shitter characters that like to ruin everything. Especially Snakeman, that piece of fucking garbage. Snakeman Ruins Everything. He ruins so much, it became a Thrilling Plot of the Year with 10 votes. But I wish it didn't. I hate Snakeman. He should never win awards. Hope he gets run over. Scum.

While I was playing Yakuza 0 though, I was getting concerned about some of the showcases being last minute. Including RISE. Unfortunately, we didn't get RISE this year and I understand why Tiffy didn't. He's my friend and I respect his decision. Thankfully he made Cupfed which made everyone mad when they realized who did it. Just like the time people Slowly people realized Tiffy made RISE, which made people say, "OMG! Moment of the Year with 14 votes!"

Actually no one says that fucking phrase. No one gives out the vote count either.

You know what they do say? "The Douglas Adams Award goes to Francis Ugondus with 10 votes!"

No they don't say that either.

But I do.


Anyway, I stopped playing Yakuza 0 and got Tan the schedule to do tweets because she wouldn't stop harassing me at gunpoint for it, and I was worried I would lose my life in a tragic way. I had to tell her that LOVE, which hosted the Non-PPV Show of the Year, called LOVE #1 - THE ACE TOURNAMENT with 18 votes, would go on first. She didn't believe me and I was sent to the hospital with a gunshot wound.

I somehow recovered in about ten seconds. Wonderful.

I couldn't believe how my condition improved from critical condiction on my fucking deathbed after that violent action by Tan. But I could brush it off. It wasn't even the biggest improvement someone has had this year. That would go to Ken D. Blackwell who is the Most Improved User with 14 votes. But I think I make a good case for second now. (I did not get second.)

Anyway, I was getting the stream ready and getting all the stuff in order. I had to put in like, 30+ fed names into a credits sequence and that was the worst thing in my fucking life. It was very tedious. Honestly, I wished someone fucking nuked the website. Get rid of all these fucking feds so I never have to do it again. If someone could do that, that'd be great. If anyone could do it, it would be the Amateur.

Nah, actually my boy, Artemis, could do it. The deadlock battle between Artemis Gerard vs AES, the Feud/Storyline of the Year (for like the third year in a row with 12 votes) will finally end with Artemis ending this website so I never have to do that again.

You know, I know you're thinking right, this awards announcement gimmick sucks. But you know, the Gimmick of the Year award went to FLAME MAN with 13 votes, so maybe I'm up to something with this one. Haha. No I'm not. This sucks man.

Okay fuck it listen writing these up in this fucking style is hard so I'll give you like this next cool award for free, because both of these writers are better than me. They've worked hard for all year and they have earned this award.

The Doctor and Def Jarrett both tied to win the Promo Cutter of the Year award with 7 votes a pop! Matt and Def have both been on a roll recently, with their character arcs and promos for their characters, especially Cobra T. Washington and Zebediah Thurston being standouts for the year. They definitely deserve this award.

Anyway back to the content about my weekend.

I queued up show themes for NEWD to play for the prestream playlist. Now when I did that, I thought to myself..."Why don't I use last years one?". I answer that with,"I'm a fucking moron." But I took about a good half hour just gathering show themes that I knew the names of. These were good themes though. Almost as good as Lie Lie Lie and Perspectives, the Themes of the Year that belong to Roze O. Flavio and Travis Cassidy respectively, that each got 7 votes. But personally, I thought
"2016: Eva Marie 5th and NEW WWE theme song - "Time to Rise" (with quotes) with download link" should have been up there.

You know, while I'm on the subject of Roze O. and Travis. Fuck Roze O. Flavio. That piece of shit who is evil. I hope Travis Cassidy beats the shit out of him and then has a celebration with Koto back home and [REDACTED] with [REDACTED] cucumbers [REDACTED] Greenlight by Pitbull [REDACTED] @everyone [REDACTED] and so forth. God I hope that Bad Guy of the Year, Roze O. Flavio dies by the hands of the Good Guy of the Year, Travis Cassidy's hands soon. (18 votes for the bad lad, 11 votes for the good lad).

Now you expect me to go back about my weekend but as of this moment, Luigi, Alucard, Ultimo Dragon, and Jack Sexsmith are fighting in a vaporwave ring and this is already the 2018 Match of the Year. No question. It will join the ranks of such great contests like Franco/Doe, Mastern/Gibson, that Elimination Chamber match, and Laura Brennan vs Derrick Brizen from the PW:AS Showcase, the 2017 Match of the Year with 9 votes. I just hope we get to see Ultimo Dragon vs Laura Brennan this year.

Nevermind Erin Toyota vs Studious Anime Girl Doing Her Homework has it locked in lads for 2018 forget the Fatal Four Way. That will join Laura Brennan vs Derrick Brizen instead.

Okay we're now gonna go back to my day. So I got the prestream up, and I was ready to rock. As said before, the first showcase was LOVE and we brought WAT back. Thanks for nothing Phukfaic. The Daily Dose came out and it was awful. It was almost brought back to a good level by the Otamatones return but it didn't save it. Ego Trippin' Death Squad saved it but then it was promptly unsaved when the Daily Dose won. God I hate them. I hate The Wrong Crowd too, and I hate the Top Guys outside of me. Thankfully this will be the only thing they win.

...what do you mean the Daily Dose/Wrong Crowd/#TOPGUYSDEJAPON won Tag Team/Stable of the Year?



Thanks i hate it.

At least Sam didn't win anything.



Oh yeah that's right, the greatest wrestler of all time Mil Meneos won the Underrated Wrestler of the Year award with 9 votes. The worm from the underground hopefully will make a big jump and kill The Daily Dose so he can win more awards.

Anyway the show went off pretty good. We saw some guest feds, some new feds, a cool trailer of PANIC!, Cupfed also existed at a time during this showcase, and we got to see the return of Ray's Shitty Brother. Then we got to ScrapYard, which featured not one but two two title defenses! Neither of them were from this fed though, as it was a LOVE championship and a TANW championship. Sam did not think to feature a title match from Sanako Asano, who's ScrapYard Cast Iron Championship Reign was the Title Reign of the Year with 10 votes. This was either a foolish move or helping the little guys get a title defense in. Thank you for your kindness SamGladwinIRL. With that said, we are all awaiting for Sanako to face Ray's Shitty Brother in LOTUSFED3D. Make it happen.

It all ended with Shucky Duck Wrestling's showcase which featured a fuckton of moments. The attack on the champ earlier in the night, followed by his replacement by Zebediah Thurston and the return of Chris O'derick was some crazy stuff. It was even crazier when Zebediah won! It was a good moment by all. Then I looked at my wife whilst wearing my Deadpool costume and said "Hey Lois, this reminds me of the Moment of the Year when The Year of Blackout finally begun after he cashed in on Osakan Destroyer in NOW. I was one of the 12 votes for it!"

She then kicked me out of the house because I was Francis and not Peter and I'm pretty sure I have an arrest warrent for trespassing and vandalism because I broke a window in anger. Blackout's moment probably went better. In fact, I'd say Joey and Phukfaic made a better moment than me typing out that Family Guy reference. Sorry everyone. Except Tan. Who shot me earlier.

So, after NEWD, I tried to go to bed and I got my sleep fucked up again and man it sucked. A dude couldn't get his god damn sleep. However, it's hard to sleep when all you're thinking about is all the handsome faces on the CAWs Rezi makes. They look so chiseled, so cool, I just wanna go up to them and...

beat the fuck out of them with my default face Franco caws.

However, I shouldn't do that to those beautiful pieces of art, that earned REZI the CAW Designer of the Year award with 16 votes. However, fuck art.

I would also beat the fuck out of Joseph James too. But I saw KOLA. I saw what he did in that tournament, wearing his cape and crown with that entrance. That award winning (specifically, the CAW Design of the Year award with 11 Votes) look that KOLA Joseph James had, and I knew this dude could watch One Piece and then do some Monkey D. Luffy stretchy arm shit and kill me. So I wouldn't bother.

Anyway, I stayed up instead of trying to go back to sleep and I was a fucking fool. I was dead by the time that NEWD had to be streamed. In fact, so was my net. So I had to get Tan to takeover on short notice and then supported her like a proud father ready to take his daughter to college. A real parental bonding moment between me and my daughter who shot me a day earlier. Wasn't as good as the bonding moment between FLAME MAN and Fushin, where we all found out FLAME MAN is Fushin's dad which won both the All We Ever Do Is Talk and Promo Of The Year award with 12 votes/8 votes respectively, but I could never be a father like FLAME MAN. Seriously he's seven feet tall. I can't match that.

Thankfully, Tan got the stream up and we kicked off with ROSE where the Elite Beat Divas finally got their names in the record books after deafeating and defeating Nightmare Fuel. I fucked up the spelling the first time and I'm keeping it but Tan thought to delete it so she is no longer my daughter. But that's besides the point because right afterwards, Noxi and the Most Improved Character of this year, Oseiko had a match which Oseiko won! She also won the vote with 13 votes!

I know I'm writing in a jokey style for these, but I'm gonna congratulate Ken for winning both Most Improved User and Character, great job!

So further on later, we got the TANW showcase where Grigori Ginoveaf and Jiro Kurotsumugi Shirogane faced off for the TANW Male Master Class Championship and man Grigori killed Jiro at the end. However, we didn't really get to see Carmen Castellano, the TANW Female Master Class Champion. Will her undefeated streak end? Apparently fuckin' not because she's also undefeated in the AES Award polls. Carmen Castellano won both Rookie of the Year and Female Wrestler of the Year. I can't even make jokes in this paragraph (even though I did). That's impressive. I hope she doesn't kill me in her search for her rival.

Then, at the end of the night. We got the showcase for the next tournament in the series of -OLA tournaments. It was the epic rematch between Francis Ugondus and John Doe...and we're not talking about that result because if you do you are a cop out to get me.

However, these tournaments have had a great impact on the Armbar Error Society since they first began, all thanks to me (not really), and they have certainly been felt again this year. The 32 Man bracket that led to the finals between Roze O. Flavio and Travis Cassidy has certainly had a ripple effect on the site, and this PPV/Supershow of the Year with 18 votes will certainly be remembered by all.

Especially for the match this all led up to.

The main event.

The headline showcase.

The absolute finale.

SUPAH DRAGIN vs Xander Zayne!




Okay it was Roze O vs Travis, and one of these two won the Male Wrestler of the Year award, and I'm glad to say we just got the result as of just now as you are reading this.

Ladies and Gentlemen.

With ten votes, the Male Wrestler of the Year is...



Travis Cassidy!

Despite coming in second in the tournament, it seems Travis was first in the hearts of at least ten people, and stands atop of the wrestling ladder with Carmen Castellano as your Wrestlers of the Year!

Anyway after the -OLA showcase I cried myself to sleep.

The end.

Okay, I know these were a goofy way to write them up (and it's Tan's fault) but don't let that understate the achievements the lads that got nominated and/or won these awards have achieved. 2017 was an up and down year with a lot of new lads stepping up and taking the mantle. If you just look at some of these, a good majority of these were won by people who had just joined the site THIS YEAR or even in the past 2 or 3 in a website with a 7 year history. That is incredible and everyone who got nominated should feel proud and everyone who won should feel super proud. I'm so happy for these lads and lasses and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. Congrats to all the winners and I hope you all have a lovely day!

RAW Results (Smackdown spoilers)
Spoiler (Show/Hide)
  PPV/Supershow of the Year
King of Los AngelAES - 18 votes

Non-PPV Show of the Year

Male Wrestler of the Year
Travis Cassidy - 10 votes

Female Wrestler of the Year
Carmen Castellano - 9 votes

Underrated Wrestler of the Year
Mil Meneos - 9 votes

Most Improved Wrestler of the Year
Oseiko - 13 votes

Good Guy/Face of the Year
Travis Cassidy - 11 votes

Bad Guy/Heel of the Year
Roze O. Flavio - 18 votes

Rookie of the Year
Carmen Castellano - 8 votes

Match of the Year
Laura Brennan/Derrick Brizen (PW:AS Showcase) - 9 votes

Moment of the Year
The Year of Blackout finally begins (NOW Elite 11) - 12 votes

Title Reign of the Year
Sanako Asano: ScrapYard Cast Iron Championship - 10 votes

CAW Design of the Year
Joseph James: KOLA - 11 votes

Feud/Storyline of the Year
Artemis Gerard vs. AES - 12 votes

Promo of the Year
FLAME MAN is FUSHIN's Dad - 8 votes

Theme of the Year
Lie Lie Lie (Roze O. Flavio) - 7 votes
Perspectives (Travis Cassidy) - 7 votes

Tag Team/Stable of the Year
The Daily Dose/The Wrong Crowd/#TOPGUYSdeJAPON - 17 votes

Gimmick of the Year
FLAME MAN - 13 votes

CAW Designer of the Year
Rezi - 16 votes

Promo Writer of the Year
DefJarrett - 7 votes
The Doctor - 7 votes

The Mad Thinker Award
SamGladwinIRL - 11 votes

Most Improved User of the Year
Ken D. Blackwell - 14 votes

OMG! Moment of the Year
Slowly realising Tiffy made RISE - 14 votes

Thrilling Plot of the Year
Snakeman ruins everything - 10 votes

All We Ever Do Is Talk
FLAME MAN is FUSHIN's Dad - 12 votes

The Douglas Adam Award
Francis Ugondus - 10 votes

Riggy Diggy Oil Up and Shiggy
Calvin Casino vs. FLAME MAN Gulf of Mexico Match - 11 votes

Best of the Rest Wrestler Award of Wrestling
Sean - 13 votes

The Golden God Fucking Dammit
>takes off helmet - 9 votes

Rear of the Year
Tan - 8 votes
Feb 11 2018, 05:16 AM

funn-e horse man vs big e

joeter griffson sets the record straight

the nintendo wiiu

why championship
chandler bing vs janice
Jan 2 2018, 09:44 AM
Hello. This is not going to be a lighthearted or fun announcement. This is tackling a serious dispute that has grown out of proportion and affected the community in a toxic way. This post is to stop the spread of misinformation and he said she said stuff and get everyone here up to speed because it's found a way to affect you guys.

First off, we're very extremely sorry it has gotten to this point. We tried various measures that have seemed to not work in the slightest and it's grown into something both quite malicious and draining. We hope that this is the only public post we have to make, since we like to keep our work private in most situations.

We're going to be talking about the drama that has occurred, primarily around cole1114, Holt, and AES General Manager MattTheDoctor.

In this post we're going to release all the info we have to you guys, due to the publicity of the event. We are also doing this because we believe that cole1114's intentions are to bring toxicity to our community through this anti-bully goal that has since lost it's meaning.

This will be a lengthy post, but it has to be lengthy in order to cover absolutely every detail we have learned. We want to be fully transparent with you guys, so let us get started.

===How It Started===

This started basically a few years back, because of some unsettled beef that cole and Holt had with Matt. In their point of view, Matt was a big jerk and was a bully. cole and Holt were not a fan of this action. During the 2013 year, cole left the AES website because of his own personal issues that he had. The team had recently given him a second strike. Holt tried to settle with Matt and claims he got a half-assed apology, so that beef was never truly settled. Thus, Holt and cole were not cool with Matt.

There were other users that had issue with Matt, such as Monty/Kondo, and CokeIbushi for their own reasons. Monty/Kondo also had issues with Phukfaic as well.

cole returned to AES during National-E Wrestling Day the previous year, having won the SDW Heart and Soul title in a big return. While his comeback time was brief, he also started to have issues with HatsuneNiko. Which resulted in punishing Niko because he was in the wrong. Despite this, cole left the site. He's claimed both to have leave on his own volition, and also be chased out. It depends on who you ask. Since then, those two still aren't on any good terms and can be public about it. Make note that during the punishment, we told Niko and cole to block each other and not speak to one another. That was how we decided to deal with that.

cole also formed a very tight friendship with BAStaracus, who is another former member of AES.


Now we're in survey time. To recap what the surveys were, they were user feedback surveys I wanted to bring back from last year that went over things like how the staff are doing, how did you feel about each other, site features, ect.

At this point or before, BAStaracus went to cole1114 who had left the site by then and claimed that she tried to come into apologize but was ran out by two members, one implicated to be Matt. This was brought up to me personally, and when I tried to get proof of this and promised to enact action, they chose to not give proof or pursue this. The staff team is under the assumption then that this did not occur.

(Note: A similar accusation occured when she was involved in nearly the exact same setup with Swerveface from /wooo/, that was shutdown by Red_Reddington of

Regardless, cole took it to heart, and got a group together for the surveys to finally be heard. He gathered Holt, Coke, and Monty. They then filled out their surveys and we were able to get a look at them.

We used these surveys to try and reach out to those affected. Since then we're happy to announce that we resolved the issues that Coke and Monty both had. Coke and Matt resolved their issues in about a day thanks to Coke reporting it, and Monty's issue was hashed out with Phukfaic after Phukfaic and Kondo resolved their issue. Those three users are on good terms with our team and we are glad that we were able to resolve their beef. Shoutouts to them for coming to an resolution.

Unfortunately, we cannot say the same for cole and Holt.

===The First Blowup===

This all came to a head on Twitter. Some staff users have a public twitter account and a private twitter account. Usually these privates are to talk about more intimate subjects such as their feelings, like if they're feeling majorly depressed, or angry, but just want a space to shout it out and vent. I think you guys know how these function. Public account is stuff you're fine with everyone seeing, private account is stuff you only want your approved followers to see.

There was a few venting tweets put out about cole and his situation, because to be honest with you guys, this is a fucking frustrating one. These tweets were leaked out to cole who went on to tweet about it. Regardless how you feel about people having venting sessions or not in private, there was quite a bit of drama due to someone leaking it out. Most of it was centered on who this person was and it led to a public blowup that involved myself and Stardy that I'm sure you are all aware about.

In the end, Holt leaked these out to cole in order to stop corruption and bullying by staff members. Holt did try to talk it out in the AES Discord and talked about his lack of trust.

This led to Holt trying to get himself and cole to talk to Matt and try to hash it out.

===Matt and cole/Holt Try To Talk It Out===

Like with Matt/Coke and with Phukfaic/Monty, we went with the same approach to try and talk it out. However, due to cole's uncomfortably with Matt, they added in Laura as a mediator, and TBK was inserted to be on Matt's side as his request which they agreed to.

This is the full chat. Please be advised that one name is in fact censored as they didn't want to be dragged into this or be used as an example at any point and thus, despite their name being brought up, it has been censored in this pastebin.

Chat Logs:

These two mainly used the censored person, BA, Coke, and Monty as their big sources for their claims and had screenshots of Matt being particularly bad at handling stuff or doing a problematic Vince McMahon copypasta bit in 2011 in an era of AES where the site said we could have a show called Faggotmania.

Matt frequently brought up bad memory issues or had apologies for things relating to issues he had with other members outside of BA because of his temper.

In the end, they couldn't become friends or anything, but it was understood by the staff team that this issue despite not having as happy as an ending or resolution, that both parties could move on.

This is where it should have ended.

===The Blowup 2===

After having a talk where cole and Holt tried to stop the bullying of Matt. Twitter user Dave1307, a friend of cole, went to antagonize another Twitter user, Desperado aka @WheresChungy, because of a tweet about how Rusev Day was a not as good version of the Year of Luigi. This led to an argument where Dave mainly tried to antagonize Despy by bringing up old tweets and encouraging him to flare his bad temper which wasn't an unknown to anyone who knows Despy.

Cole got into the mentions, and started to blame Despy for getting antagonized saying "it's funny when you get mad" and defended Dave because "he was baiting people". That screenshot can be found here.

The link to the Twitter thread is right here:

After hearing this down the grape vine of gossip, HatsuneNiko made a tweet as a jab at cole, who again, was blocked by Niko.

Holt then shared this info with cole, which then was reported to the staff team.

This got into the hands of NotTensai after cole began to call this out in a public area where he could see it. This led to NotTensai beginning a callout spree after cole began to call out former member Lazer, who is and was to our knowledge completely un-involved with the current situations. He eventually deactivated his account and has left to cool off.

===The End Result===

The end result of all this was another toxic public drama session where one side decides to blame the whole website. The other side can't really handle the barrage, and the real losers are you guys who were never involved in the first place. We are so sorry about this. We hope that this post can catch you guys up since it's basically become a public incident.

You may judge this situation on your own accord, but the staff team does have their own opinion on this.

On what could be seen as a legitimate attempt to right wrongs is no longer that in our eyes. We do not see cole as someone trying to fix the bullying issue, as his actions and words clearly contradict each other. We the staff believe he is trying to create a toxic environment on us in an act of revenge of some sort. We encourage everyone to not get involved with this toxic behavior and try to cut it out of their feed.

In the end, we did what we could, and unfortunately it didn't work so it has come to this. This post was for you guys so you no longer had to be dragged into a confusing situation where you don't know shit and only know that your friends are upset.

Hopefully this cleared things up.

- Francis.
Last Visitors

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Ernest Kingfish...
I accept your challenge.
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i was on ur profile
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