TONIGHT WAS THE NIGHT



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Francis Ugondus
 Posted: Jul 24 2017, 12:41 PM
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1990's Lesbian Comedian
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while this is being setup you can do one of them cool intro promos that tell us how you're gonna beat everyone up and how big your dick is or whatever

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Hinoa
 Posted: Jul 26 2017, 07:10 PM
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This post originally appeared on Marie Connor's blog, posted on 26 July 2017.
QUOTE
The deal's done. I'm officially on LOVE now. It wasn't even a hard decision for me, either. For those of you who don't really know much about me, I am kind of a huge nerd; you have to be some degree of anime-nerd to study abroad in Japan for a semester, after all. It's only natural that I'd join up with the anime-aesthetic federation. I was already pretty sold on it before I found out it was Franco running it; that was just the deal maker. I don't think I've ever sent out a CV so fast in my life. 😁

But I got done with the paperwork like an hour ago, at least from when I'm typing this. It was an interesting experience.

Although... I'll be honest. My first thought upon seeing most of the talent that got signed was "what am I doing here? I have a career." I don't mean that as an insult to the level of talent at all, just in terms of... actually, examples explain it better. So in LOVE, you've got the very hammy Blazing Force, you've got a guy named, no joke, Deals Drugs to Children (who is, by all accounts, a very respectable young man), there was a pair of bears in wrestling gear, a oni girl, and I'm also pretty sure I saw MC Hardcore trying to avoid eye contact. In contrast, there's me, Marie Connor, local everygirl. I don't have an outlandish gimmick, I don't have an attention-grabbing name, and for crying out loud, I even wrestle in civvies. So as you might be able to imagine, I felt a little out of place.

The doubts didn't last long, though. I've proven I can wrestle in the AES without falling apart. If I can manage it on a stage like Revolution-X, I can certainly manage it here. And besides, if you have too many weird gimmicks, it's just going to be kind of a blur of inanity. You need people like... well, me, to contrast the silliness. I guess what I'm saying is I can totally straight-woman for LOVE. Er, in the comedy sense. Wrestling's inherently ridiculous as it is, what's a bit more silliness?

The signing itself... well, it's a signing, it's wading through paperwork and making sure that someone didn't slip a nasty clause in your contract. (Which reminds me, I should write up the story of the "Clear Fork Rule" sometime.) I actually found out that I was the first singles wrestler outside the ones on the pilot to send in an application, which is kind of cool, even if that doesn't get me anything other than the title of "Little Miss Quick-on-the-Draw." I was a bit surprised there was a deathmatch title, since the pilot really didn't make it seem like that kind of promotion. And Francis is keeping one of the titles under wraps, which makes me really curious now. Especially since he's said we shouldn't be aiming to win it. The surest way to make anyone curious about something is to tell them they shouldn't have it, after all.

I'm pretty excited about the competition, too. Oseiko's in it (but she's in everything, including Rev-X), Travis joined up, there's Mew, and Bob Sagat, and... really a lot of people I want to go in the ring with. Almost the entire roster, in fact! A special mention, though, goes to Gabriel White. I'll be honest, I have no idea why he picked LOVE. I thought I felt out of place; I can only imagine what he thinks. Which reminds me, I'm starting a pool on what his reason for joining LOVE is. I still think he lost a bet.

All in all, I'm excited to show up in AES's very first anime. I think I'm going to love this place.

Yes, I've been wanting to make that pun for the entire post. 🙂

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Red Blazer (TANW, LOVE, HPW) · Marie Connor (RevX, LOVE, GofG) · May Russell (ScrapYard) · Abby Fightmaster (GofG) · The Unstoppables [Emily Miyamoto & Lynn Brand] (TANW) · Michelle Rocksmith (ASMR) · F.O.E. (TANW, ScrapYard) · BLANK (BAD) · Stud Kickass (FI;LR) · Nick "The Law" Lawrence (KOLA)
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Wasabi
 Posted: Jul 26 2017, 07:20 PM
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Darija walks out of the woods that seperate the mountains and civilization. She looks around at the buildings amazed. "These must be homes for giants, humans have grown quite a bit!" She looks around with wide eyed wonder, not realizing she's wandering in the middle of a street, not like she'd know what it's purpose is anyways.

The loud scream of a car's horn fills the air, and is promptly replaced by the sound of smashing metal. Darija gulps realizing her club is where the car's engine used to be. "Oh my goodness I killed your metallic horse! I'm so sorry!" She looks around meekly noticing that people have begun to stare at the scene. She slowly moves her club back to it's holding place and yells "Do not worry fellow humans everything is fine!" She walks off deciding to stay away from more metal horses.

The rest of the city was much kinder to the mountain oni, despite odd looks, and the occassional headlock from being overexcited. She felt she had explored the entire city in a day "I think I'm forgetting something..." she felt her pants and felt a piece of paper "Hm what's this?" she pulled out a folded out note and read it to herself "Go to... LOVE?" She blinked "How can I go to LOVE?" she read further down "In case you forget Darija it's a fighting promotion so the arena, bring your club."

"OH! LOVE. OF COURSE" She laughed tossing the paper aside. "I knew that the entire time!" She began dragging her club looking around "Wait a second... where's the arena?"

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Tange9t
 Posted: Jul 26 2017, 08:14 PM
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i deed eet
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"GAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!"

The deafening sound of laughter served as the cold-cut start of a promotional video. One Levin Thackeray, front and center of the camera (and way too close, one might add) was the source of the aural explosion. He was effectively dressed in his wrestling attire, which practically consisted of civvies to begin with, albeit designed to actually be practical in the ring. He'd been in the game for a long while.

"Man, this is about the most ridiculous thing I've ever done. I'd been fixin' to join the AES for a while now, but never did I think I'd do it somewhere like this!" He let out another laugh, once again deafening any and all headphone-wearing listeners. May their ears rest in peace.

"I mean, come on, they all call me the scary serious guy, who would think I'd come here? Apparently none of them remember that one tour I did in Japan where I pretended to be the future version of an American ninja in civvies. Man, that was some weird shit, but good times, man, good times. I'm way off-topic, but fuck it." Levin leant back to reveal that he was, in fact, upon a chair. He was previously way too close to the camera to see anything but his chest and face.

"But hey, lemme tell ya, I'm a big fan of Francis Ugondus, and when I saw he was the owner of this place I knew I had to get involved." He took on a somewhat sterner expression. "Now let's actually get down to business. There's some top talent in this company. I got a lotta respect for some of the names flyin' in. Hell, there's a couple I thought would be way too serious for a place like this, but I guess I was wrong." He shifted slightly, cocking his head a little to the right. A slight smirk slipped through, almost unnoticeable and yet painfully obvious, before vanishing.

"But there's been some claims floatin' around that I'm gonna look to refute, and while I'm not lookin' to say so from the get-go before I've even got my ass in the ring..." He once again placed himself unnecessarily close to the camera.

"...once I start tappin' people out to the Venus Flytrap, I'm sure you'll figure it out. Anyway, uh, watch your backs, 'cause I'm fixin' to beat the crap out of all a' you punks!"

The feed cut to black.

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RoZo Squartellini
 Posted: Jul 28 2017, 04:52 PM
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You can also call me RoZo
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Ahhhh! Finally, after 10,000 years, LOVE is in the air. The birds are chokeslamming each other, the bees are literally the descendants of Mojo King B (not in LOVE, sorry) and pollen is making everyone hate their lives. Such a lovely day it is...

Too bad Skell Meggido exists...

We begin with a fairly open road, rush hour would not be for another two hours and so its emptiness would be filled up with the obnoxiousness of our Hero of this LOVEly story, Skell Meggido. The skull-faced man sat on the seat of a black, purple-striped Vespa with the word “Murderfucker 5000” keyed onto the side. A lit cigarette sitting between the rubbery bone teeth of his mask. His gloved knuckles hardening as he revved up the small motor, pushing the death machine to its peak at the breakneck speed of 30 miles per hour (anime speed lines included). In his other hand, a 5 gallon tank of gasoline, its contents spilling onto the pavement in a trail behind the rear wheel.

Oh yeah. Hell yeah! FUCK YEAH!” The Bone Man howls out, somehow keeping the accursed cancerstick in his mouth.

I LOVE it! You LOVE it! We all fuckin’ LOVE it, baybeeee!!! Can’t you see that we love the massive fucking cock that belongs to the newest hero AES has and need????

Streetlights ahead slowly shifted from a very encouraging bright green, to a mildly cautious yellow, to a very VERY concerned red. It was almost as if the streets beyond really wanted Skell to just stop. Really, no one would blame those streets.

Alas, the light merely encouraged the male to go faster, his sockets widening as he cranks the handle further back to BREAK THE LIMITS AND GO AT 31 MILES PER HOUR (with even more anime speed lines).

Can’t stop won’t stop, can’t stop won’t. Fucker! I’m like a greased blue lighting blur! Ain’t nothing faster than me!” He howls out loud at the lights before various sports cars zoom right past him and the lights. The cars went fast enough to make the one poor woman wearing a skirt out of all the times of the day have to struggle with keeping it from getting hiked up from the wind.

This occurrence however merely make Skell cackle like a hyena watching stand up comedy.

Hah! I’m going so fast that Nature’s slowing me down to let the slugs keep up! C’mon Momma Nature! I know that you know that I’m fast as fuck! Get these weights offa me eh?

With that statement, Skell would lean his head back a bit and spat out his smoketwig. The smokey trail drew a spiral from the tip of the cig before the orange glow would finally make contact with the smelly liquid and ignited the trail behind him. See? He’s totally going fast!

Closer and closer the stoplight came as Skell continued to laugh his dumbass off. Seconds pass...

...And then the screeching of tires would be heard soon after...

Turns out Skell stopped right before a wrinkly old blonde woman, who was walking in the middle of the crosswalk as she... Twiddled her moustache?

OH SHIT! IT’S THE MOTHER OF THE WORLD FAMOUS INTERVIEWER RAE YOUNG! IT’S THE ONE AND ONLY RAE OLD!

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If you couldn’t tell, there was an awkward silence between the two. The amount of concentration in their eye contact was simply amazing. Nothing could break this awkward moment. Not even the fact that the gas can exploded in Meggido’s hand a few seconds before from the flames could break their gaze upon one another.

Finally the silence would be broken with this exchange.

Hey grandma... You ever boned a man with one hand?

SKELL MEGGIDO DEBUTS IN LOVE SOON YEAH BOIII

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Jefferson
 Posted: Oct 8 2017, 02:50 PM
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The ScrapYard warehouse, shabby and dilapidated, is empty, although the walls still seem to ring somehow with the shouts of the crowd that had filled it earlier. It’s dark now, mostly, save for the single fluorescent light that remains on, starkly illuminating the ring at the centre of the large room. Within it, shoulders slumped and fists clenched, stands Robyn Refferson, alone.

She feels bruised. Literally - there’s a tender spot on her hip where she’d been caught by the flailing limbs of Travis Cassidy, and another on the back of her head from her awkward landing - but more unforgivable is the bruise on her pride. More painful is the bump her soul had taken. She squeezes her fists tighter, her nails making indents in the soft flesh of her palms.

Suddenly, from underneath, there’s a rustling noise, followed by a dull thud and a muffled “ow!” She looks up, and is unsurprised to see the tousled head of Big Boy Gladwin pop up above the ring apron as he pulls his lanky body out from beneath it. “Well, fancy seeing you here,” he drawls, attempted suaveness marred by the fact he’s covered in dust and noticeably out of breath.

“I need you to teach me how to wrestle,” Robyn Refferson says without preamble.

Big Boy looks surprised for a second, then shrugs placidly, recognising a determined woman when he sees one and canny enough not to scoff at her outlandish request. “Right you are,” he says, pulling himself up over the ropes and into the ring. Then, delicately: “But, uh - why is that, exactly?”

Robyn Refferson lowers her gaze again, staring flatly at the taut canvas beneath her feet. “That - that thoughtless oaf Cassidy-” she begins, then breaks off, too choked up to continue. She takes a deep breath and angrily squares her shoulders. “Thanks to his carelessness, I ended up on the ground twice. Like I was - like I was unworthy of his consideration. Referees are people too, you know? Referees matter.”

“So…” Big Boy pauses, fingers steepled in rare contemplation. “You, a complete beginner, want to take up wrestling in order to get revenge on Travis Cassidy? Like, near-KOLA-winner, near-ScrapYard-title-holder Travis Cassidy?” He pauses again. “Like - that one?”

“Yes.” Steely.

A wide, delighted grin spreads across Big Boy’s face. “Fantastic,” he says, overawed and for once completely genuine. “Yeah, I’ll teach you.”

Robyn Refferson exhales heavily, at peace for the first time since her head had been violently and non-consensually bounced off of the mat earlier that day. “Thank you.”

“No problem, babe,” Big Boy says, then waggles his eyebrows in a manner probably intended to be seductive and drops to the ground, long limbs sprawling out beneath him. “Now,” he starts, patting the canvas at his side invitingly as though it’s the mattress of an opulent four-poster bed. “Wanna have some fun?”

Robyn Refferson’s eyebrows knit together irritably as she scowls. “Not today,” she says, then petulantly adds: “I have a headache.”

Big Boy mutters something under his breath that sounds quite a lot like “If I had a penny for every time I heard that,” then springs cheerfully to his feet, seemingly unperturbed by her refusal. “Alright, well,” - he breaks off to give her a chaste kiss on the cheek - “call me next time you’re up for it.”

“I will,” says Robyn Refferson. “Oh, and we can probably train here out of hours, I have a key.”

“Cool,” says Big Boy brightly, hopping back over the ropes and crawling back underneath the ring. “Uh - don’t tell Jack I’m staying down here, by the way. It’s only temporary.”

“Sure thing,” replies Robyn Refferson absently, not really listening. She’s already distracted, her mind filled with images of Travis Cassidy’s face, features contorted in despair as he looks up at her from his rightful place - on his back, shoulders flat against the mat, windpipe crushed beneath her foot.
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